Stolen Yarns

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

SLK....WELCOME TO IBADAN..

For some reason, my job has taken me to Ibadan about 3 times in the last 2 months. In case you are not a Nigerian and you have not been to Nigeria before, well Ibadan is an ANCIENT city in the southwest of Nigeria. Trust me its ANCIENT in every way. Even the indigenes are old. They always live long. Its almost like all the old people in Nigeria retire in Ibadan. If you see one Mama that I met. She told me she is in Girl's Guild. I guess age is a thing of the mind then. So Taiye Taiwo has a point.

But one thing you need to give to the Ibadanites is hospitality. They are the best. I got better hospitality than my last visit to Ilorin (another ancient city). In Ilorin, I suffered!! I told the event organisers to sort out my accommodation as usual. I forgot to explain to them what accommodation means.  Apparently, to them, accommodation means "a place to lay your head". Which is exactly what they got for me. They gave me the address....somewhere in Offa. Wait so in the whole of Offa, this was what they could offer. If you see the room..as big as Dangote's living room. Well.. not like I've been to Dangote's house before but I just think his sitting room should not be small.  Then the TV was as small as my palm. Like the bed to the TV was like 1km. I had to ask if they had binoculars. 

Anyways, back to Ibadan.  After the stressful journey..GOD! That road though. Lagos Ibadan Express way! I don't know which is deeper, those pot-holes of my pastor's sermon. I saw one, there was no way you could convince me that that was not a well in the middle of the road. It looked like where Clifford Orji used to hide. I was asking myself, is that not a well. I got my answer from the unfortunate bus that entered into it. They wrote "IT IS WELL" at the back.   I knew it!

Well, I got into my room and of course I was hungry. while waiting for my food, i had to go get suya (roasted meat) at least to keep my stomach because apparently, the hotel just went to plant the rice I ordered 20 minutes before.  "Oga abeg no put onions o", I gathered the last strength I had to yell at the suya guy...sorry suya daddy. "I hope say you no put onions o" I had to ask again after the suya had been packaged. "No oga, I no put onion o..na GARBAGE full inside!" Huh... Garbage?? They eat Gabbage in Ibadan? No wonder they go to toilet a lot. Garbage in Garbage out!! It was when I got back into the room that I discovered that it was Cabbage he meant. SLK...WELCOME TO IBADAN!

My event went well. 2 governors were in attendance. The governors of Oyo and Ondo states. I had so much fun with them. I made them laugh and more importantly, they made me laugh too. Infact I'm still laughing. After such a good job, I wanted to experience the city a bit. To my surprise, I heard they have Cold stone in Ibadan. That was when I encountered Ibadan again at its realest. I asked this girl if she would like some Ice cream. She said No she doesn't like cold pap!! Jesus! SLK....Welcome to Ibadan

One thing about Ibadanites is that they don't like to be cheated. They hate to buy things at exorbitant prices. To them, why would you want to buy COLD PAP at Cold stone for 1500 Naira, when Saki can do the same thing in his kiosk for 100 Naira. So i decided to visit Saki's shop. Instead of COLD STONE. If you see shop! E be like inside cave. What drew my concern was that, as he was preparing my cold pap, I saw water from the decking in the ceiling dripping into the COLD PAP. Is this some form of flavour? I had to close my eyes to it. Maybe this was the Garbage the suya daddy meant. I took the Cement flavoured Ice cream like that, To people I was taking Cold stone, but deep in my heart I knew I was taking Limestone. All na still stone....SLK...Welcome to Ibadan.

All I'm trying to say is that...I had a great time. Awesome people! Shout out to all Ibadanites! Thanks for the love.




Photo Credit: Tolani Alli


Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to book SLK for your shows/events, please don't hesitate to contact +234-7035639439. Good night


1 comment:

  1. LOOOL. Ever funny! Keep it up bro

    ReplyDelete