COMICALLY EXPRESSING SLK'S MIND!DONT MIND THE TITLE,JUST LOVE THE PORN! I MEANT PUN NOT PORN!!YOU MUST HAVE HEARD THE 'UNILAG LYING GIRL' ON RADIO AND 'MC GARDEN EGG' AND 'JEHOVAH ELSHADAI' ON RADIO! YES I DID THOSE!!
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Monday, 2 November 2015
Why Frownest Thou?
I had this PHE teacher in JSS2. Pretty young woman..sorry..lady (No Fela intended). Her class used to be one of those "end of school" periods. When your 11year old brain is already closing for the day.
So there I was in her class, simply minding my own business like the loner I've always been. I didn't need a ruler to know I was keeping a straight face. "Salako why are you frowning your face?" she asked calling my father's name as if he's her mate. "Nothing ma" I replied. "Don't frown in my class" Helloo..is your class "Night Of a Thousand Laughs"? It didn't make any logical sense to me so I left my face like that. Yes! I can be stubborn like that. "If you are going to keep frowning then get out of my class" she obviously wasn't smiling when she made this statement. I mean no one can make such statement with a smiling face. I should leave your class? I stood up and left.By this time, I was actually frowning. "If you want to ever come back to this class you must write an apology letter, promising never to frown in my class again" E gba mi! On top my own frown? Is it your frown i'm frowning?Or is there something else there? (Abi se nkan mi wa nbe ni)
I got home and told my mother. Trust Yoruba women she was so pissed! Then came my father. *sigh* . There are 2 people my father would never doubt - a doctor and a teacher. If my teacher tells my dad I raped her, my father will skin me alive without asking questions. "I'm sure she must have a good reason for that", my dad said. Why wasn't I surprised? "so you must give her that letter first thing tomorrow morning" This man just killed my swag. To cut the short story long, I reluctantly wrote the letter and got back to class.
Few months later, she had an accident and died. My heart melted. What if I had not written the letter? The guilt would have been crazy. Looking at it in retrospect, this woman had no idea that I would later in life, make a living from stopping people from frowning. Till today, every time something gets to me and I'm about to frown, I remember the promise I was forced to make to my PHE teacher in JSS2 and then I let out a cute smile like the one you see below