Stolen Yarns

Monday, 9 November 2015

Cinema

Since I hardly go out except my work carries me (which is pretty much quite often), I decided to do movies once in a week. And as a single Lagos boy, most times, I go alone. A lot of people find this very creepy. So I get the "You are here alone?" question all the time. And they always have this shock on their faces as if  I'm supposed to be a Siamese twin.

Well apart from the fact that I' m a loner, I think going to the cinema alone makes so much economic sense. Going alone, all i need to pay for is ONE ticket. Just ticket! Yes I don't even buy popcorn.
Did you just say what will I chew? My brother if I want to chew something....I chew gum! But you cant conserve all these expenses when you go to the movies with someone. Of course going to the cinema with a fellow guy is very disturbing to my very homophobic mind. So I'm left with going with a lady. Now it will be so ungentlemanly of me to go to the cinema with a lady and let her pay. That is still not bad for me. What really annoys me is that these descendants of eve don't just stop there, Wait first, who made popcorn a prerequisite for having a nice time at the movies. 

The painful thing is that these girls watch movies in their houses empty mouthed and empty handed o! As if the money for pop corn is not exorbitant enough, some will even go a step further. I took one girl to the cinema, after we bought ticket, she shocked me by saying she doesn't like popcorn. You should have seen the joy in my eyes. Finally, I found my wife! When I was just about to revel in my good luck, she said: 'I don't like popcorn, I take only Asun, Hot dog, crepes and Ice cream'. ONLY???I had to remind her that its movie we are seeing o, not a birthday party. Immediately she said that I had to convert the movie date to lunch date, since na hungry carry am come. By the way, that's how sometime last year, I went to the cinema to see one Nigerian movie that was based on a book, I went to buy popcorn and they only filled it up to half! I asked why, then they said its because I'm seeing Half of a Yellow Sun.

I remember one other girl, after I had paid for 3 tickets (because the winch brought her cousin along), paid for popcorn, paid for drink, paid for hot-dog etc, we now sat down to watch the movie. At the end of the movie, after the last scene, she now wanted to stand up and be going. When they had not started showing the end credits! If you see the way I pulled her back. 'My friend sit down and finish this movie. My money must not waste! You go watch this credits taya today!'   










In case you didn't know, to the Glory of God, I have been nominated for 2 awards slated for November. (Naija FM Comedy awards and the African Entertainment Legend Awards)
Just to remind you to keep your votes coming if you think I deserve them.

NaijaFm Awards: SMS "SLK UPCOMING COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR" to 33058

AELA : SMS "Award 127" to 33070

No comments:

Post a Comment