Stolen Yarns

Monday, 2 November 2015

13 Billion Pounds!!!

Wait, I don't get.13 Billion Pounds! One man...sorry one woman? We are talking pounds here o. Billion!!
Its like you don't understand the enormity of what I'm trying to say. Let me break it down. It was 1 million Dollars that Olu Maintain hit, that made him release on full hit! 
"Ti m ba hammer, first tin na hummer. ONE MILLION DOLLAR, elo lo ma je ti mba se si Naira!" He even shouted "Ye owo". That's to show you how huge 1m dollars is to him. Infact it was so huge, he formed a new dance! So what if he gets 13 billion pounds, how will Olu maintain his sanity?

When I tried to convert the money to Naira, the calculator burnt. No wonder my mother usually warns me against fine girls. If a woman can devour a full nation, na ordinary man e no go fit devour? 13bn Pounds!!
My neighbour's kids leaped for joy when this news broke out. Not because they love Nigeria so much or they hate crime so much. But because their mother was about to beat them for stealing 400Naira. When she saw the news like this, she gave up. 

Anyways, lets look at the positive side jor. I think she was just trying to show Babangida that "What a man can do, a woman can do better". I don't care whatever it is they want to do with her, my own is that our money must be returned. Even if it means that Nigerians should raise placards.."Bring Back Our Money". Yes o na our money! Infact when I first heard the news, the first thing that came to my mind was "Ehen! No wonder I broke".

By the time she returns all that money, the money wey go dey her account go be like N22,800.  The thought of that can even give you cancer.

But shaa 13billion Pounds! Chaiii There is God o!







In case you didn't know, to the Glory of God, I have been nominated for 2 awards slated for November. (Naija FM Comedy awards and the African Entertainment Legend Awards)
Just to remind you to keep your votes coming if you think I deserve them.

NaijaFm Awards: SMS "SLK UPCOMING COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR" to 33058

AELA : SMS "Award 127" to 33070


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