Stolen Yarns

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Girls and Cars

 *singing* She no want designer, she no want ferari..... *weaves slap! dodges blow, blocks bullet* 
Ahaaan! Wait first! No be me sing the song now! 

I'm sure by now we all agree that Davido lied! Well for more information you can watch the Naija Babes response to the song (by my brother  Emma OhmaGod) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sflEcUGOChE

But my major question now is "Whats it with Naija babes and cars?''  Make den no just see man with car keys!! What of those guys that are stiill hussling? What should happen to them? A guy can be ugly as hell, but as soon as hes driving an SUV he suddenly develops "inner beauty" Nowadays you can hardly find a girl that wants to date a guy that doesnt have a car! Hardly!!! Infact you stand a better chance of seeing Maheeda with her clothes on than seeing a girl with a carless guy!

Infact some girls are so engrossed in this that they lose their sense of judgement! They see it as some form of prerequisite for a relationship. Some days ago, they asked one girl for her favourite sport! She said "RANGE ROVER". Thats how bad it is now o!!

Not just cars! Money!! I've seen girls that date criminals! Throwing morals into the wind!! One girl met one guy that told her he's into drugs!! Instead of this girl to take to her heels, she rather stuck to her hills! DRUG BARON! She even went about telling her friends that her boyfriend is INTO DRUGS! She jumped at the guy! Gave the guy her time and BODY!  After 6months the guy took tthe girl to his "CHEMIST" (small scale pharmacy) in Ajegumle where he sells panadol, Vit c and ALABUKUN! "OMG i thought you said you were into Drugs??" 'Eheen! Panadol na paint?'


Now whats making this trend more dangerous for guys is that they now expect this cars as GIFTS!!! Imagine! I overheard a girl breaking up with her boyfriend over the phone.  She was really crying o! This is what I heard her say:


"Ah Bayo, you are a useless boyfriend! Infact you are now my EX! What didnt you do? Is Lola's boyfriend not your mate? Were you not there on her birthday when he gave her the KEYS to a brand new Range Rover? Is Busola's husband not your mate! Didn't you hear that he gave her the KEYS to a duplex in Lekki? But you!!!! You! what did you give me on my birthday? The KEYS to your heart!! wetin I  wan take am do! Your heart na Ferari?"












I would like to seize this medium to join all well meaning Nigerians in the clamor for the safe release of our 234 girls! Its been 2weeks! We need our future leaders! I'm not Yerima, but I want our girls back! Lets all not get tired of praying for our country! God bless Nigeria! #BringBackOurGirls 




                                                                                                          


For bookings, please contact +234-7035639439. or BB: 2B27E384

PROPOSAL


 Immediately you saw this title, if the first thing that came to your mind is "BUSINESS PROPOSAL", then, my brother, you are really hungry o! All I can say to you is "Jehovah God will do it!" (you know there is a level a man's suffering would get to that he can't afford to call God one name!) But if, on the other hand, immediately you saw the title the first thing that came to your mind is "MARRIAGE PROPOSAL" , even though you are right, my sister, YOU DON RIPE FOR MARRIAGE O! Well all I can say to you is, "JEHOVAH GOD OF HEAVEN THAT CREATED HEAVEN AND EARTH will do it for you"

Welbeck to the mata (Well back to the matter), In recent times, for some reason, I've witnessed a couple of marriage proposals live! Maybe God is trying to tell me something. I've seen men really pull some romantic stunts o! RANGEing from buying cars,planning with the organisers of a show to actually collecting the mic and proposing, or even interrupting a movie in the cinema!! Hmmmm! Wonders shall never cease (like a village gossip in a Nolly-wood flick). What if she says NO? I was watching one on TV sef! The guy said he wanted to propose so the presenters helped out! Hmmmm! The last time I heard such an emphatic NO was 15years ago when I asked my father if I could go and see my female friend! ON TV (no not ONTV i meant ON TV!!) If na me,  Its either I kill her or I commit suicide. But there must be a death.
The one that got to me was that of Peter (or Paul of Psquare sha) who bought a RANGE ROVER! No be dat wan pain me o! He now ASKED her "Will you marry me?" See what women have turned us to! What is she going to say? NO?? If she says NO then definitely she would have accident with that car! The car would be intact o, but she would die!! If me I buy moto for a babe, even if na "picanto", the question I would ask would be "Which month should our wedding be?" Not to now talk of Range!



But on a serious note, one thing I know is, my own proposal would be very unique (if you are a lady, thats one reason I should be your husband).  Ladies love creativity! And I believe, if you really love your woman then you should try to honor her with a unique wedding proposal! I plan on doing something that has never been done before! I mean a marriage proposal that is entirely novel. Do you mind me sharing my wonderful proposal fantasy here? I knew you would say I should go ahead! Ole! You want to steal it! Weeeellll I would share it all the same. But please I beg you dont steal it!

I plan on proposing while driving. Me and her in the car. I want a romantic song in the background so I would slot in a Terry G CD (RUN MAD would be the ideal track but, really, any Terry G track would suffice). So while this romantic track is playing, I would make sure I drive moderately (Romantically) and then start off a  conversation about how I really love her and how I wanna be with her forever. Then I would tell her of how I LOSE CONTROL easily every time I get disappointed. At this time, I make sure I  drive in between 2 big trailers. One on my left and the other on my right! RUN MAD still playing in the background!! Guess what? At this point..........I pop the question! "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" If I hear say she no shout "YES!" with "BLOOD OF JESUS" to seal it sef!!

 Well this is my proposal master plan! Like I said earlier "please I beg you, don't steal it!"










 For bookings, please contact +234-7035639439.or BB:2B27E384