Friday, 27 July 2012


Why are parents like this? Can you remember when we were kids (that's if you are not). You must have noticed that it is when you are doing something very interesting! In fact when its reaching the dano sorry peak of enjoyment that your parents send you somewhere! C'mon do I have a witness in the house? You know me now, I always love to give examples to back up my point! I have 3!

I loved soccer so much as a kid and everybody around me knew! In fact I thought I was going to be a professional footballer. I do not want to believe that it was mere coincidence that whenever a UEFA Champions league match is about to start, that's when my father knows its time to call for devotion! Kai! That thing can pain! I remember a very important match like that! Chelsea Vs Barcelona! It was at the 40th minute that my dad knew it was time for devotion! I almost started shedding tears! And that's the time devotion will now be longer than normal! Trust me! We Christians raised in christian homes know that once your father starts prayer with a worship song, you are in for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong night! To add more pepper,we had to read the word! Psalm 119! You know what that means! As we were reading, we were hearing noises from neighbors! the question on my mind was 'daddy are you sure this people will not go to heaven too?'The long and short of it was that when we finally finished, NEPA did their thing! So we missed the post match highlights! 

Wait a minute! Guess what just happened right now! My mum just came into the room to call me for prayers! NO JOKES! Why are parents like this!

Also as a kid am sure you didn't miss things like Sledge hammer (trust me! I know what am doing...GBOA!), Super force, Power rangers! OK if you don't know this things it means you are young or you are AGED! I remember watching what could have been my most interesting episode of Sledge hammer! Just towards the end! My father struck again! I heard my name from downstairs! I answered! Then he said 'come!' I hurriedly ran down stairs like a mad man! My dad was typing on the computer.I stood for a second! then I said,'am here sir'  'Ehn am coming! Let me finish typing this sentence!' My dad cannot talk and type at the same time! after a few minutes of enduring the feeling of hearing my brothers exclamations, my dad finally had my time!
Daddy: (slowly like 2 words per minute) Em go and get me my ehn....( he had forgotten the word)
Me: (Impatiently) Your phone?
Daddy; No! not that! My ehn... My ehn....!
Me: Your bag?
Daddy: ode what do I want to use my bag for here! Am I travelling? My ehn ki lo tin pe na (what do they call it)
Me: your watch?
Daddy: Are you well? Is this not a wrist watch in my hand or how many do you want me to wear? Am I Ben 10? (OK i added that part).  Wait while I remember, let me finish typing this second sentence!
Me: Ah!

When my daddy finally remembered, I didn't know I was shedding tears! Not because my brother had finished watching both Sledge Hammer and Super Force! No! But because the word he was looking for was HANDSET! Which was the same thing as the 1st word I suggested!

Finally, I can never forget this one! This thing even affected my dream! If you see the dream that I dreamt one day! I dreamt that I sat down o! Then one woman just served me one whole chicken in a plate! Yeh see grove! Full big chicken like this! See me salivating! As i was about to just grab the chicken to eat! Guess what happened! My father was waking me up in the real world! 'Are you well? You are sleeping! Who will wash the plates! Ehn! Common go downstairs now and wash those plates!' Am sure my father was wondering was making me shed tears! You wont give me full meat at home now I wanted to eat beta chicken una no gree! 
After washing the plates, I was determined to go back and dream again! I tried my best to sleep in that same position! Apparently my determination paid off! I dreamt again! That same woman! Served me an even bigger chicken! Just that now the chicken was alive! This chicken was chasing me! I was running! It was chasing me with drum sticks! It got to a point I could not run again! See beat wey dis chicken de beat me! 
My father entered my room and guess what he said! 'Ah! Don't let me disturb this boy he must be enjoying his sleep!' I didn't know when i shouted 'Enjoying what! Daddy I take God take beg you wake me o! Na die I dey!!' 


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